Theology and Parenting

Three Ways Sound Theology Can Help You Stop Yelling at Your Kids

(This post was written about five years ago–hence the ages and stages of my kids have changed. God’s truth never does, though.)

IMG_4169-225x300Who could ever yell at this face?

Not that I ever yell at my kids. But if I did, if I had a particularly trying day, this is what I might remind myself of.

Sound theology basically just means that your understanding of who God is and what He has done is taken from the Bible. You know what the Bible says about God. You believe it. If you don’t like it, you change your mind. Our theology of God, what we believe about Him, shapes our every day life in every way, whether we realize it or not. We act and react based on our beliefs, our knowledge, and how the Holy Spirit has changed us based on Truth that He has revealed to us.

So how can this help me stop yelling at my kids? I remember what the Bible says about:

Sin: Namely, we have all done it. We all do it. It’s easy, on a day like today, to remember that my kids sin, but if I stop for a moment and remember that I do too, how will that slow down my flares of righteous anger? If I stop to think, We are all of us on this path. My kids and I are all broken. We’re in it together. Depressing thought? Yes, if you stop there. But I also need to pause and think on what the Bible teaches us about…

Redemption: If I stop, really stop for a moment and remember that “while we were still sinners, Christ died for us,” (Romans 5:8), how can I help but rejoice in that glory? I might not feel the weight of that truth at the moment. When the baby is wailing, the three-year-old is on the naughty circle again, and the big boys are getting into mischief, I don’t feel much but stress. However, feelings do not dictate truth. And whether or not I feel the soaring joy that I should, the truth remains: Christ loved us and died for us to free us from the hideous sin that would kill us. We are free. Which leads me to the last point…

Grace: All is grace. Saved by it, kept by it, forgiven again because of it. My children will hug me, despite my temper, because of it, and I will kiss their heads, in the face of their disobedience, because of it, and we are reconciled to God because of it. God’s grace means that, though we deserve punishment, He gives us Himself. We extend that grace to each other, we thank Him for that grace for ourselves and our families, and we delight in Him for His perfect goodness to us.

Pause, remember, breathe in His goodness. Feel it, or not. Believe the truth His Word teaches. And get back to work.

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